View Full Version : You know there are a couple newts in the house when...

22nd May 2004, 04:00
Okay, so I don't have any newts as of now, so these are all educated guesses...Feel free to add to it.

You know there are a couple newts in the house when...

1. There are numerous live and frozen foods in your fridge and freezer, not to mention hibernating newts

2. If you spot a body of water or a really old rotten log...you always wonder if/what kind of newt is in it.

3. You look forward to spring as that is when your newts get there breeding colors and lay eggs

4. Your idea of a trip is going to a place where there are lots of new newt species to discover.

Well, lets see what you guys can do!

22nd May 2004, 07:31
5. You are trying to convince your partner that you really were out all night just doing newt surveys

22nd May 2004, 11:48
6. you cant stop posting on sites about newts

23rd May 2004, 08:52
you mean, travelling all the way to europe to see newts is a little weird??

23rd May 2004, 09:02
7. you've got more newt food in your fridge than people food

8. your caudates have their own room.

23rd May 2004, 19:49
9. You do your shopping at Walmart so that you can buy worms. (Not applicable outside the US/Canada.)

10. When you go to the home improvement store, you find yourself looking at various items and materials and considering their potential for building enclosures, islands, lids, ponds, etc.

24th May 2004, 09:28
11. When you start to study about insects, worms, .... (to raise them); the things you were never interested in at school.

24th May 2004, 13:13
12. the only things you drew and held lectures about on school were newts.

24th May 2004, 18:01
13. you correct your zoology professor during his lecture on newts

24th May 2004, 18:19
14. you correct your zoology textbook section on newts

27th May 2004, 02:39
15. You're outdoors for the holiday, and when you see a body of water that most people are fishing or even swimming in having REAL fun YOU instead are wondering if you might just see other newts there for better entertainment.

27th May 2004, 05:54
16. for spring break rather than going off to florida to enjoy some sun, you head to a cold, damp spawning ground in michigan.

17. you tell the pest control salesman 'no thank you, i like the bugs i've got'.

18. you're eating a poor diet of ramen and macaroni and cheese while your animals have a balanced diet with suppliments.

19. you spend 2 hours preparing diced beefheart for your animals and then eat a 3 minute microwave dinner.

20. you are more concerned with obtaining a mate for your lonely newt then you are for obtaining a mate of your own.

21. there is ALWAYS room for another fish tank....you'll just have to sleep on the floor from now on.......

22. you have 50 pictures on your desktop of your newts...but only 1 of your cat.....

23. aerosols, incense and insecticides prohibited at ALL times!

(Message edited by paris on May 27, 2004)

27th May 2004, 06:34
17. you have to turn down a drunken night out with your friends because you are going to be out doing a newt survey until 1AM

27th May 2004, 22:41
18. You spent your free airline ticket to go to International Amphibian Day.

19. You are on a first name basis with every shop that sells live foods within a 50 mile radius of your house.

20. You think the best time for a hike is when it's raining.

28th May 2004, 00:48
22. When you have a collection of 30 64oz 7-11 big gulp cups sitting around for miscelaneous water change needs and/or seperating newts and larvae temporarily.
p.s ok i might be the only one but heck it works lol

28th May 2004, 04:11
23. You walk into any local pet store and they start singing a modified version of the cheers theme song....

28th May 2004, 07:09
24. When you scan side-walks during rainy nights http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/biggrin.gif picking-up earth worms to provide the best diet for them.

28th May 2004, 23:12
24.5 you see worms on the sidewalk and say "boy, that one's juicy, i bet the sals would love you!"

29th May 2004, 06:23
25, when the only reason you dig the garden is to collect worms

29th May 2004, 07:50
26: Out of the 200 pictures you took on a trip, 199 of them were salamander shots (and the other one was an accidental shot of your significant other who got in the way of a salamander shot.)

27: You buy a better camera for the sole purpose of taking better photos of your collection.

28: You start carrying around little coffee stirrers after reading Dick Bartlett's article, even though you don't drink coffee.

29: You have newts on top of your wedding cake. (TIM!!)

29th May 2004, 18:00
30: Even though its much harder to use...you dig with a three forked trowel so there's not as much of a chance of killing the worms

These are great! Keep em rolling!

30th May 2004, 00:16
31. You give your fish away and use their tank for a new setup

30th May 2004, 06:28
32. You agreed to getting a new extension on the house because in the back of your mind it will give you space for a few more tanks.

1st June 2004, 15:19
33. When you are house-hunting, your #1 criterion for the perfect house is that it has a basement.

1st June 2004, 18:30
33. When you freak out your uninitiated dates by repeatedly turning the topic to newts.

34. When you can somehow find a connection between any subject...and newts!

35. When your idea of the perfect mate is somebody who likes newts (or puts on a good show of it!).

36. When your read about floods, earthquakes or other natural disasters, or even war, you can't help but worry about newts being affected.

37. When you find yourself spending inordinate amounts of time at misc. shops trying to discern if drawings or figurines on sale are supposed to represent geckos or newts.

By the way, here's what Pin-pin was talking about when she mentioned the wedding cake toppers http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/lol.gif


(Message edited by TJ on June 01, 2004)

1st June 2004, 20:01
38 You start wishing you could change skin, regenerate digits and start feeling the need to wander around emeral green moss and ferns during rainy days instead of beaching up along the coastline ....

1st June 2004, 20:23
39. The most frequent phrase you use is 'just 1 more tank...'
40. The post man starts tentitively delivering soggy parcels with 'LIVE ANIMALS' written on them on your doorstep

1st June 2004, 21:34
40. Your thermostat is set permenantly at 65F even if your lips are blue and you're wearing two sweaters and three pairs of socks because it's not about your comfort, it's all about the newts.

2nd June 2004, 21:06
41. You have no idea what's on TV because it's more interesting watching your newts.

3rd June 2004, 00:54
42. You stop at every stream you see "just to check"

3rd June 2004, 06:06
43. your coworkers know more about caudates than they ever wanted to.

44. you go on vacation and have to interview/initiate the 'babysitter'

45. you spend so much time in windows collecting bugs that your brother in law nick names you 'Reinfield' (this is true)

46. other family members start saving up bugs they find around the house for you

47. you give impromptu talks/lectures to people who see you carrying a critter keeper and want to know all about the animals.(especially kids)

48. the animals are assistants in your persuit to help you flirt with coworkers ('hey check out what i just got')

49. you no longer scrape together all loose change around the house to buy alcohol-you use it to buy a bag of crickets.

50. you know more about insects than the 'orkin man' by proxy and you like them.

51. your coworker invites you to her bachlorette party by mentioning its on her parents property and there is a pond there that has tigers. (yes im going on the 6th and she knows ill be bringing a net and bucket)

52. alot of your tupperware has holes burnt in it-and your ok with that.
(.....yet you will still eat out of such tupperware when the need arises.)

53. you are VERY sensitive to those people who call them 'lizards'.

54. school teachers that meet or know of you ask if you can come to their school and give a talk.

55. your hobby gets you into the paper (front page) and next thing you know you are getting calls from all over the state for advice and even mail packets from people in prison. (i removed my name from the phone book after that!)

56. you turn in your 401K to buy a computer so you can surf the internet to study up on the animals and get in touch with other hobbiests.

57. you take out a student loan to buy a video camera so you can take hours of footage of their behaviour.

58. your friends think you are REALLY weird because you spent the night watching your animals mate.

59. your friends cringe when you ask them if they want to see videos of your animals breeding.(or giving birth/egg laying)

60. your 'baby pictures' are not exactly what some people expected....

(Message edited by paris on June 03, 2004)

3rd June 2004, 07:27
61. One watches "Jackie Chan" movies just for getting a glimpse of what Hongkong streams might look like.

(Message edited by ralf on June 03, 2004)

3rd June 2004, 13:00
Great section! Let's go for the 100 and publish them as a first international publication!
62. You refer in discussion on literature constantly parts of Thorn (1968), Griffiths (1995) or Petranka (1998).
63. you always turn up with wet feet at every appointment as you had to check the nearby fresh water for newts.
64. your idea's on tattoos always turn in the direction of doing your complete belly in orange with spots at the locations of your favorite species.

3rd June 2004, 13:51
65. Every container you survey at a garage sale is a potential hiding place to put into your newt or salamander tank.

66. Your newts get tired of you peering in at them all the time and you could swear you see one of them actually roll his eyes in exasperation while swimming by and say, "Crimony, take a picture, it'll last longer", And you find yourself actually answering them apologetically, "Be patient, I'm still saving money for a digital camera!"

3rd June 2004, 16:06
67. You've given advice to every local pet store with newts as to how to feed them correctly. They pretend to listen.

68. You find yourself wondering what species (and how many) of salamanders are in a certain radius of your home.

3rd June 2004, 16:07
69. You go online and do the same repeated search of a species, pretending that you havent seen every one of those sites before.

3rd June 2004, 16:15
70. You spend many a lunch hour at work on Caudata.org. Sometimes you bring up another window over it when coworkers walk by. Like I am doing right now for example.[click]

3rd June 2004, 16:20
71. You wrote Petranka an email of praise after taking out his book from the library. (yep, I did that a couple years ago.)

72. You search ebay, wondering when Petranka's book will be selling there for $5.

3rd June 2004, 18:11
73. You chase birds out of your yard so they don't eat your newts' worms.

3rd June 2004, 18:14
lol, anthony, I yell at the robins all the time, you're not alone.

PS: did anyone notice that these are all numbered horribly wrong? Paris posted 16-23, and then Colin started over at 17.

3rd June 2004, 18:53
74. The house may be in shambles, but the vivaria are in immaculate conditions.

75. Your newts get better medical than you do

76. You schedule you day based around "feeding time"

3rd June 2004, 19:47
77. You've had dreams that you were flipping over logs.

78. You've been greatly annoyed by depictions of "salamanders" in fantasy video games.

3rd June 2004, 20:01
you sell youre bed to have more room and money for aquariums

3rd June 2004, 23:25
80. you DO have caudata.org set as your home page-even at your work computer

81. you buy kids clothing items off of ebay-even though you dont have kids-just because they have images of true salamanders and not lizards (will post these one day with the rest of my collectables)

82. your idea of a hike in the woods is VERY off trail

83. you admit newt tanks are very hypnotic and consume alot of your time-yet are unwilling to seek help

84. you are considering writing a book 'zen an the art of newts'on newt therapy for stress

85. you will not talk baby talk a human baby because you think its degrading - but automatically do it to all of your newts (and even an andrias japonicus at the detroit zoo)

86. you can see a salamander walking across wet tarmac at 25 mph.

87. you think herping for sals is an ideal interactive date

88. your coworkers grudgingly accept the fact that there may occasionally be a newt in the staff fridge

89. you call off work cause your newt is sick

90. you have a 2 hour layover in st. paul (MN) and wonder if there is somewhere near by to look for sals.

91. your christmas wish list is the caudate section of your field guide

92. you can say things like 'ripairian systems' and 'sexual dimorphism' with out sounding pretensious (sp?)

93. you lament the fact that it doesnt rain MORE

94. camping spots are chosen not by scenic locations but by distribution maps and collection locals

95. you are willing to share a room with some stranger you met over the internet just because you all like newts (http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/signs.gifpin pin/jenni http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/biggrin.gif)

96. you dont stop to wonder if all of this is just a little weird

97. you correct the local zoo on its species mixing and mislabled display

98. you have a tank as a night light

99. you are willing to write a 'hot' check for some unusual newts the local shop just got in


kaysie-it was because i had posted then decided to edit my post and colin posted after my first draft

4th June 2004, 02:30
Good call with wanting it to rain. Everyone always makes fun of me getting angry at the sun in the spring.

I dont know if we're allowed to go over 100, but...

101. All your friends/significant others know that they will not see much of you during the breeding season.

102. You have made your own distribution maps of local species and wonder whether the official field guides need some corrections.

4th June 2004, 02:39
We also have two 24's and two 40's, so if I'm correct 102 should be 111.

Please correct me if I'm wrong.

(Message edited by salamander_man on June 04, 2004)

4th June 2004, 03:39
103. your friends who come over are actually amazed you own a cat

104. your cat/spouse/sig other get increasingly jealous of all the time and attention you spend on your newts (pin pin i am amazed YOU didnt post this one!)

105. the cat gets VERY excited when you open a can of friskies (since she usually eats dry kibble)-and then very upset when she gets none of it (i KEEP explaining to her the can reads 'newt food' but she doesnt believe me...)

106. your toilet has thriving colonies of both brown and green algae from all the tank water you constantly dump down it (who wants pics?http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/lame.gif)

107. you see the postal van and beat the nieghborhood dogs at chasing it down

108. the postman already has your package ready and hands it out the door to you to placate you

109. a good portion of your social life revolves around strangers from all over the globe who have an unusual hobby that borders(in many)on obsession so much that they not only have a web page/forum...but also a chat room!

(Message edited by paris on June 04, 2004)

4th June 2004, 06:21
117. You get annoyed when the lighthearted list of silly newt things gets numbered wrong by accident http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/happy.gif

111. Your three year old kid corrects people who say, 'look at the newts' by using the proper binomial nomenclature

(Message edited by colin on June 04, 2004)

4th June 2004, 14:00
I wasnt annoyed, just pointing out that at that time we were much closer to 100 than as numbered.


119. You push little kids out of the way to get pics of the Andrias japonicus at the detroit zoo.

120. Even though the exhibit is marked "Children only", you get on your hands and knees to crawl through a little cave to get a glimpse of some texas cave salamanders.

4th June 2004, 14:06
121. "I raised him from larva" doesn't sound unusual in the least.

4th June 2004, 14:47
122. You get very perturbed when someone refers to your newts as "LIZARDS"---grrrrrr....

123. You start looking at human babies as actually large human larvae

124. You pull legs, wings, whatever it takes, off of poor, cute, innocent insects so it will maim them enough for your salamander to catch them

4th June 2004, 17:56
125. there's nothing better to do at work than check the forum, even though you checked it 10 minutes ago.

4th June 2004, 19:01
Good call on that. Same here.

4th June 2004, 21:15
126. The scent of decaying wood, moist, boggy soil, and lush green moss reminds you of your bedroom or livingroom.

6th June 2004, 04:40
127. your sunburnt, bee stung, covered in smelly mud, soaking wet and scratched up - and you had a GOOD day!

6th June 2004, 20:16
This list has been very enjoyable-thanks all for sharing http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/happy.gif

.128 You notice the fridge is getting stuffed with people food and you ask your spouse "How/Where are the worms?"

6th June 2004, 20:20
.129 You spend more time online reading/chatting/posting about newts/amphibians than you probably do looking at your own newt/ampibians.

6th June 2004, 21:53
.130 In the middle of exams, you delay your studies coz this tank needs cleaning and those newts need food


7th June 2004, 01:40
131. You refuse to wash your hands unless absolutely necessary (don't want to risk getting soap residue in the newt water when feeding them).

132. You stop wearing perfume, burning incense, and using sprays of any kind so as not to pollute the air that the newts breathe.

7th June 2004, 06:56
133. You've just spent in more money on your newts in one day than you've spent on yourself in the past month.

7th June 2004, 11:47
134. You happily hack poor defenseless worms to bits and feed them to your newts.

7th June 2004, 12:22
135. you wish every year was 'miller time' (referring to miller moth plagues that happen about every 10 years here)

136. it takes you 9 1/2 HOURS to do 'the dishes'

8th June 2004, 00:22
137. You can quote the name, age, weight, length, and gender of each animal in your collection, but you can't remember today's date to save your life.

138. you sell off your furniture to buy new and bigger tanks

139. Your skin takes on a pale, moist appearance as your hair starts sluffing off.

140. your water bill equals all your other bills combined.

141. you regret that your human development didn't include a larval stage

8th June 2004, 07:44
142. when you cut your finger you smile and say "It will grow back"

143. you consider writing a short message in the local newspaper to find a buddy for your newt

14th June 2004, 00:28
143. In the Middle of the night, you sit straight up in bed and say to your spouse, "Don't move! Don't move!" she bleary-eyed says "What!?" Then you say: "A salamander..." and go back to bed.http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/errr.gif
Your spouse is not amused and you wonder where you got all those bruises from the next morning!http://www.caudata.org/forum/clipart/smile9.gif

3rd December 2007, 20:07
when the house stinks because you're boiling wood again

17th December 2007, 04:14
You invite people over to meet your new pet tiger and they know it's not a mammal

31st January 2008, 17:04
146. you HATE bugs but have 100s of crickets in little plastic containers
147. you HATE bugs but want to start breeding crickets-it's cheaper that way
148. you spend your last $20 on cool stuff for the tank
149. you realize that the 800+ pictures on your digital camera are 90% of your animals "posing" for you
150. you talk to your newt and actually think he's talking back - mine does though, really he does!!!
Angel :angel:

1st February 2008, 05:08
You spend 13,000 dollars on a room that is primarily for the newts.

1st February 2008, 15:20
152.you throw a baby shower for the babie larvae that hatched but dont even look at your neighors baby
153. you find going to L.A. boring because all the standing water will kill newts and you get bored after 10 minutes in disney land.

19th February 2008, 05:43
154: chytrid is the new c-word, and the object of a few bad dreams

21st February 2008, 12:11
you find a dried long item stuck at the bottom of the fridge and only close examination will determine if its a noodle or an escaped worm.

21st February 2008, 12:23
:eek: just gone right off my chow mein

22nd February 2008, 10:31
156 - you begin to dream about hunting for fire salamanders, only to wake up serverly dissapointed in the morning that those huge females you found were but a figment of your imagination.

oregon newt
26th February 2008, 02:40
157-when you get a net and a nice pair of boots for christmas
158-when you're stopped at the airport because fo your strange herping equipment that is considered a weapon
159-when you join a newt forum
160-when you get your kid a mudpuppy instead of a real puppy
161-when you don't have a house but your newts do:rofl::grin::bowl::lol::lick::tongue:;):D:o

oregon newt
27th February 2008, 02:36
162-Ask the guy at the bait store for some nightcrawlers in winter.

27th February 2008, 22:11
when you spend pretty much your whole pay check on things that benifit your newts instead of yourself and worry about there health more than your own hahaha