SludgeMunkey
New member
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2008
- Messages
- 2,299
- Reaction score
- 101
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- Location
- Bellevue, Nebraska
- Country
- United States
- Display Name
- Johnny O. Farnen
OK folks, bear with me here as I am really, really sick at the moment.
In between trips to empty my bucket, I'll key you in on what is going on.
My senior thesis is on (as some of you know/guessed/etc) Neurergus kaiseri, specifically the nature of the toxins they generate in their skin.
I have been collecting samples of their dermal secretions using a TAS and carefully learning how to prepare and process said samples. (Measure twice, cut once.) As I am new to this sort of thing, I have screwed up the first few samples.
So earlier, just after dinner, I decided to harvest a few more as I can use the lab all day tomorrow thanks to classes being out for the holiday.
Anyway I wear those poly gloves, like restaurants are supposed to use, when handling these guys. Given my personal experiences in the past with these critters, whatever the secrete is nasty stuff. Just a whiff of it can give one a headache for hours.
So, as I reached in to grab a specimen, I snagged my glove on a rock and tore it. No big deal I thought.
In addition to being a biochemist in training, I work with my hands. A lot.
Needless to say my hands are always covered with cuts, nicks, scrapes, and minor burns. Right where the glove tore is where I cut myself making microscope slides this morning.
DO NOT GET NEURERGUS KAISERI TOXIN IN A WOUND!
Right now I have no use of my right hand. The exposed area is swollen up. I am sweating, vomiting, and...umm..."volcanoing" from the other end (if you get my drift...). Pupils are dilated, heart rate is up. I am dizzy as all get out...and I have the mother of all headaches.
My wife noticed me staggering around and called poison control. In between bouts of vomiting, I laughed out loud.
"He got poisoned by a WHAT!?!?"
Now, imagine a journalist trying to explain to a poison control operator that her wannabe science geek husband is sick as a dog because of a rare species no one normal has ever heard of...
"Johnny, what is the poison?"
"Angelita, BWWWAAAAARRRRRRFFFFF, I...don't...know...yet..."
"Well they need to know."
"So do I. How do you think I got into this BWARRRRRRRRRRFFFFF mess?"
Anyway, you can imagine the conversation. It was hysterical, save for the abdominal cramps I am experiencing.
"They say they do'nt know what to do for you."
"No <double expletive deleted>, Angi. This is why I asked you to not bother calling them. I'll get through this and if I don't make sure my notes get to the right people."
"But I thought you were experimenting to find out what that stuff is."
"I am dear BWARRRRRRRRFFFF but I can't very well get results if it kills me first."
"It can KILL you!?!?!?"
"Sure, why not. I do not know of a single case of kaiseri poisoning other than my own. In other words, it will be an interesting result if it does kill me. Make sure they do an extra good tox screen and then include the results when you turn over my notes."
"You really are an <expletive deleted>. Why couldn't you be into something harmless, like rocks or poop?"
This is when I retreated back to my lair and decided to warn you all. They are brightly colored for a reason folks. It means "Don't mess with me or you will pay, dude."
The odds of you being exposed to the kind of dose I have at the moment is slim, but do not risk it...trust me on this one.
I have to go empty my bucket again...

In between trips to empty my bucket, I'll key you in on what is going on.
My senior thesis is on (as some of you know/guessed/etc) Neurergus kaiseri, specifically the nature of the toxins they generate in their skin.
I have been collecting samples of their dermal secretions using a TAS and carefully learning how to prepare and process said samples. (Measure twice, cut once.) As I am new to this sort of thing, I have screwed up the first few samples.
So earlier, just after dinner, I decided to harvest a few more as I can use the lab all day tomorrow thanks to classes being out for the holiday.
Anyway I wear those poly gloves, like restaurants are supposed to use, when handling these guys. Given my personal experiences in the past with these critters, whatever the secrete is nasty stuff. Just a whiff of it can give one a headache for hours.
So, as I reached in to grab a specimen, I snagged my glove on a rock and tore it. No big deal I thought.
In addition to being a biochemist in training, I work with my hands. A lot.
Needless to say my hands are always covered with cuts, nicks, scrapes, and minor burns. Right where the glove tore is where I cut myself making microscope slides this morning.
DO NOT GET NEURERGUS KAISERI TOXIN IN A WOUND!
Right now I have no use of my right hand. The exposed area is swollen up. I am sweating, vomiting, and...umm..."volcanoing" from the other end (if you get my drift...). Pupils are dilated, heart rate is up. I am dizzy as all get out...and I have the mother of all headaches.
My wife noticed me staggering around and called poison control. In between bouts of vomiting, I laughed out loud.
"He got poisoned by a WHAT!?!?"
Now, imagine a journalist trying to explain to a poison control operator that her wannabe science geek husband is sick as a dog because of a rare species no one normal has ever heard of...
"Johnny, what is the poison?"
"Angelita, BWWWAAAAARRRRRRFFFFF, I...don't...know...yet..."
"Well they need to know."
"So do I. How do you think I got into this BWARRRRRRRRRRFFFFF mess?"
Anyway, you can imagine the conversation. It was hysterical, save for the abdominal cramps I am experiencing.
"They say they do'nt know what to do for you."
"No <double expletive deleted>, Angi. This is why I asked you to not bother calling them. I'll get through this and if I don't make sure my notes get to the right people."
"But I thought you were experimenting to find out what that stuff is."
"I am dear BWARRRRRRRRFFFF but I can't very well get results if it kills me first."
"It can KILL you!?!?!?"
"Sure, why not. I do not know of a single case of kaiseri poisoning other than my own. In other words, it will be an interesting result if it does kill me. Make sure they do an extra good tox screen and then include the results when you turn over my notes."
"You really are an <expletive deleted>. Why couldn't you be into something harmless, like rocks or poop?"
This is when I retreated back to my lair and decided to warn you all. They are brightly colored for a reason folks. It means "Don't mess with me or you will pay, dude."
The odds of you being exposed to the kind of dose I have at the moment is slim, but do not risk it...trust me on this one.
I have to go empty my bucket again...